Posted by: Mad Lamb | 19/04/2013

Sowing peace or seeking comfort

I said from the start of this blog that understanding the reality of applying faith was a journey and, in my last entry, I mentioned my current Bible notes are taking me through Exodus where the Israelites were also going on a long hard journey of faith.

I’m aware how easy it is, with our understanding of their whole story, to be dismissive of their grumbling in Chapter 16 about lack of food and yearning for the known entity of Egypt. After all wasn’t it only when Moses started talking about potential freedom that Pharoah made their work harder? Was this hardship just part of a badly though out plan by a man who claimed leadership over them? The actions of the Passover may have felt like a strange dream and now they were living in a nightmare in the wilderness.

If we were there, if we had all our certainties quashed by some dream of a new life, would we not also wonder what was going on, was God active really in these plans?

Right now I feel I am in a similar position. It’s been eight months since we moved and I’m still having to commute 2 hours each way to work. My arthritis is now relatively stable but I’ve recently had flu and aware how easily tired I can get. I’ve had several interviews for local jobs but none have been successful. Two were with a past employer, so it felt particularly hard to be rejected.

However, my husband’s studies are going well and, on one hand, I’m sure we are in the right place but there is part of me that feels I am wandering in the wilderness, needing some personal reassurance that God has a bigger plan. I’ve had my grumbles but have set myself to trust God in this, though I must admit that an omer of manna would feel like gold dust right now.

Last week I was reminded of the prayer attributed to St Francis and the importance on focusing on helping and encouraging others and that it is in giving that we receive. Here we offer ourselves to sow peace, to comfort rather that be comforted. At the time I felt an urge to commit myself to this. However after this week’s events I feel I need comfort. Is this wrong? Is focussing on other’s needs and not my own the key to moving on?

I appreciate your ‘likes’ on my blog but it would be great to hear from you how you have overcome your times of wilderness and if you have sought out a life to comfort others.

[For info when searching for a copy of the prayer mentioned above online I see there is some doubt that it originated from St Fancis … http://www.franciscans.org.uk/franciscan-praying/prayers-of-saint-francis ]

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